survivor’s nursery rhyme

Posted: May 16, 2010 in Poetry

trigger warning

does your shame hang low
when you tell them bluntly to go,
because your mind isn’t right
so sex won’t happen tonight?

what if they won’t yield?
and your mind forms a shield
not because it should
and that’s not very good…

but you think you’re broken.
and although it’s unspoken,
you’re worried if they know
the fix will never show.

do you drown in drugs
to withstand the hugs
when your nerves are clutched,
when you’d rather not be touched?

where does your mind wander
and what do you ponder
when you’ve just met this guy
and his hand is on your thigh?

do you fight? do you weep?
make a scene? try to creep
away from the love disorder,
sneak sanity across the border

to a chaste yet present peace?
where do you find release?
do you dodge quiet romances
out of fear of warm slow dances?

how do you make the call
and explain it isn’t them, at all?
how can you be mature and explain
when you don’t want to say its name?

how long do you take caresses
to try to clean up others’ messes
they made on your body long before
you knew what those sensations were for?

your tears make nothing clearer.
am i broken? you ask the mirror.
you touch your face as you ask
but all you feel is cold, hard glass.

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