learning to affirm

Posted: April 25, 2010 in Draft Dodging

I always speak the worst into the world, and then I’m surprised when the worst of my desires happens. Because of this terrible power, I’m afraid to speak the best things aloud, the things I truly want. Why? What if I use the wrong terminology? What if the universe takes my words too literally and gives me something strange? What if I were wrong about wanting what I said? I have a lot of fear of the unknown since it’s so pervasive.

I am slowly realizing that being afraid of what I don’t know and can’t control does me no favors. I am slowly learning to be unafraid to admit that I don’t know how something will turn out, or I don’t know all the answers. I am learning to let my heart speak during prayer in case the wrong words spill out of my mouth.

Now, if only I could learn to stop using the computer when I no longer want to be online during the day…

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