what you want.

Posted: October 4, 2008 in Poetry
Tags: ,

dim atmosphere raging light
in corners and shadows cast
from barstools and stage steps
from curtains and beaded closures
from trendy skirts and cropped pant
wondered talk and beating threads
walking feet and gesturing fingers
hands heads shoulders necks
popping and rolling about
what’s missing from this fantasy
of erudition and cultural créme
of society

the dim becomes a din
the main event is nigh
the master of swank high
and staggering to the mic
wide eyes warning of
prima dons and donnas
breaking lines and scat
with tales of perdition
and calling it life
and branding it art
and selling it for a breath

i stand up here but i don’t know
what you’re seeing
what you’re feeling
what you’re hearing
as these words come from me
i’m almost afraid to ask
when i wail about death
do you stare at my tits
when i hug my solemn insomniac mother
do you try to force me down
when i marvel at suns reinvented
by dawn and birdsong and white cloud
do you stare at my scars
do you pet my hair
do you look at me
from the thighs up
or the waist down

i feel paralyzed now
by the memories of words unwritten
the stories never told
because i remember who will speak them
and who has to climb this stage
this circus of fools in tweed
runts in polyester rascals in wool
not veiling the hostility on my body
as they proclaim they are cruelty-free
their lives are cruelty-free

your breath destroys the air around my art
your eye castrates the coming dawn of the birth
of my roiling mayhem of singing a verse
without a tune to a tone-deaf horde
i don’t feel pure but i feel unmolested
i don’t feel whole but i feel unbroken
i feel like a dove whose wings
flip the money tables over
and over
and over
instead of fly


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